Talking About Sex and Puberty
During the course of your match Little may ask about or share about sex and puberty. Responding to this depends on the age of your Little and what Little’s guardian is comfortable with. Normalizing this topic and being careful not to embarrass Little for bringing it up is important. To help with this we require that Bigs and guardians proactively speak about how to talk to Little about sex and puberty; what the Little already knows, the teaching, terms and language that is used at home, and preferences for how to handle this topic when and if it comes up. Seek support from your Match Support Coordinator if navigating these topics.
Consent and Healthy Boundaries help Littles stay safe, talking about and modeling consent and boundaries is an important part of outings to begin to empower Littles to set and maintain their own personal boundaries.
Find out more about consent, healthy boundaries and teen relationships with these resources:
- Guide to talking to children about consent
- Healthy Relationships for Teens
- You have the right to feel safe workbook
Sex topics would be considered a safety matter to flag for guardian and Match Support. Contact your Match Support Coordinator to discuss how to broach these topics or navigate sharing safety information.
Navigating Body Changes for Littles
Many Littles transition into puberty during their match. Bigs can provide extra support in a variety of ways – including being someone to talk to about body changes, shop for or teach about hygiene products (deodorant, shaving items, or feminine hygiene products), and answer questions. Bigs and guardians should be talking about what role Bigs should play in these conversations. It’s very important that Bigs and guardians are comfortable with the content and level of engagement on these topics. Additionally, it’s most important that the Little is comfortable with the role to which the Big plays. Using Little’s cues and reactions when bringing up these topics is key.
To get more clarity on navigating this role and content, speak with your Match Support Coordinator.
Alcohol and/or Drug Use for Littles
The topic of alcohol and drug use has the potential to come up in many contexts with your Little. It’s possible that a Little might share the use of a substance, peer pressure, or supporting a friend/family member who uses substances. If possible, we recommend that Bigs and guardians proactively speak about this topic and the lessons being taught at home. Coming from a place of support, care, and non-judgement is key. Utilizing open ended questions to clarify Little’s safety, drug use, and their plan for navigating these situations is a good place to start.
If challenging topics like this come up and you feel unprepared as a Big, it’s ok to not have all the answers. If a Little is sharing sensitive information like this, it speaks to the CONNECTION and trust in their Big. It’s ok to listen more and talk less. If the Little is seeking advice, Bigs can acknowledge the seriousness of the topic and explain the need for time to think about the best advice.
Alcohol and/or drug use would be considered a safety matter to flag for guardian and Match Support. Contact your Match Support Coordinator to discuss how to broach these topics or navigate sharing safety information.
Check out our safety guidelines to learn more!
Check out this easy tool for guidance around engaging your Little in a supportive way.